Have you ever been in one of those moods where you just want to grab everything and rip it from the walls and break everything because you feel broken and you want to scream and kick and cry because nothing feels right and it’s all wrong and you don’t feel right and I don’t know anymore.
I deleted your texts, doesn’t mean I will forget what you wrote. We don’t talk anymore, doesn’t mean I will forget your voice. I don’t get to hug you anymore, doesn’t mean I forgot what you smell like. Just because we don’t see each other anymore, doesn’t mean I’ll forget you.
As I was typing out this, there was so much emotions running through me. The feelings of sadness, pain, sorrow. There isn’t any happiness that I can find inside me. I really want to be happy. I really want to forget about money. Times after times, money still makes me happy. I tried and I really did. I don’t blame myself for not being able to afford what I use to. I feel upset but I get over it. Unbearable but still I will and must go through all this. I tell myself that one day I be able to break through all this. I know I can because I need to learn to wait and be patience. For all te things I had done, it will pay off and I’m sure I will live better and give better.
I honestly have nothing to look forward to, nothing to smile about. I’m getting tired of going through the same routine everyday. Sometimes I feel like the best thing to do is lay down and do nothing. I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know if I should even feel happy at all. But don’t worry, I’m fine. I’ll always be just fine.